When John woke up, he had a hangover; he hadn’t had such for
a very long time. He was going to sleep in, it was Sunday, and he already made
up his mind not to go to worship, he would rest towards Monday’s stressful week
and the ‘call’ he had later that same evening at the hospital.
He regretted the sexual encounter already, he had had
unprotected sex and he could feel already; within his body, that he might have
an infection; God! Let it not be HIV.
He would give it some time, but he felt there was no reason
to go on HIV prophylaxis; he would take the huge gamble with fate; everyone is
having sex without catching the virus, maybe he will have that grace.
John had reached this crossroad in his life where he felt he
still acted as a child. In this worldliness of sexual sins, he has survived
more than once; here he was, a doctor, what more did he want in his life, He
had it all, but his lack of love must have been the cause for his sexual
weakness and promiscuity; he was quite notorious. It was impossible not to
notice him. He was a light that could not be hidden. He had to change, he had
had enough of the madness of this sexual norm; which he was swimming in, he had
to retrace his steps to God, and that fact was the most complex of the
decisions.
When he was younger, he had a great relationship with God. But
from a young age, he always loved women, but more importantly, he never had
true friends; he was mostly depressed and longed for happiness, his home played
another role in his breakdown. Although he accepts responsibility for all that
has happened in his life, he did feel that if he had a firmer foundation as a
young person, he would have avoided some of the bad choices he made as a teenager
and which he has continued to make.
He had grown up in a very religious home, but the religion
was not the problem, violence was; which is 'particular' in most African homes.
John had always been tender at heart and yet he was unable to comprehend the
misfortune and turn of events that left his family in the dark, immensely
affecting his sense of pride which defined him. He
believed in the finer things of life and above all had a fancy dream for
paradise and greatness, he had known a lot of pain and through the course of
his final days at the university, he had become violent and abusive with his
girlfriend; this defined how people perceived him considering how popular he
was on campus. He was loved, but hated by many, he was called proud even when
he was humble, and eventually those who called him proud were soon to become
the very characters which they abhorred. Nothing lasts forever, not even hate
or rejection, we all die someday and then the grave begins another story.
The bouts of violence left John depressed and he wondered
greatly how he could ever salvage his public image; in time, our phase fades. He took the pain and pressure and moved on; he wouldn’t let the setback
define his life.
Here he was again, back in the arms of a woman, forgetting
his greatest motivation and initiation to be a member of the body of Christ. He
was wondering if God will accept him now. He had to do things right, make his
family proud, get married and live the dreams he always had.
The heart break from Mary had crushed him but he was
determined to make a decision in the right step.
He picked himself up from the bed, had a shower and dressed
up. He left the hotel, but left behind the piece of paper with Sallys number; he
won’t do this anymore he thought, this is the end to his amorous affairs, after
today, He was going back to GOD.
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